Day Zero

Endings are a part of life and whether exciting or painful, we look ahead to what is to come. Today is day zero, representing the end of an era and a new season.

For me, a restructure at work signaled the end of 21 years at a major Sydney university. I could have easily secured a role in the new structure and probably a very good one, yet with the invitation of a voluntary redundancy too good to resist, I hung up my boots Christmas week with my feelings a mix of joy and fear. After working for almost 40 years, I have always yearned for time and suddenly I find myself gaining the thing I have craved the most (and a tidy financial bonus to pay off my mortgage). I wanted time to rest, to go for long coffees and do all the things I imagined non-working stiffs do.

There were tears and celebrations. Staff saw my departure as a travesty with murmurs of poor judgement in letting me leave as countless people offered to happily swap places. Some helpfully warned me how bored I will be as others listed the wonderful ways I will spend my time. With my smile firmly painted on, I joined in with celebrations, pushing away the nagging voice in my head and in the pit of my stomach and thinking of time with my partner.

My life has always centred around family and work and by no means am I Robinson Crusoe there. Work is the basis of my mental map of life. My bedtime thoughts were a maze of calendars and work deadlines mixed in with family events and school holidays. I'm a planner so keeping the wheels on was a continuous stream of mind maps that led me through my working life; from lone parenting overseas with a young family, through divorce and its aftermath. Finding love again, a new season was ushered in and I finally understood the meaning of sharing responsibilities. I eased back and relaxed more but I was still wound up very tight, forever focused on job security and ensuring our basic needs.

I have rested and as predicted, I'm starting to look for new things. These are my daily musings and you are welcome to follow. For some of you Facebook and other social media is essentially a brag fest. Others like me use socials to record our story. Sure we announce the happenings in our lives; spruiking to friends (and friend of friends) our joys and sad times sprinkled in with quips about life and sharing of silly jokes, crazy politics and hilarious memes. Whatever your motivation, this is my diary or sorts, with photos and news. I love looking both forward and back at life's rewarding and often poignant moments as I stay connected to friends far and wide.